Boards are here...again!!!

Its almost as if life has come a full circle (I know I'm a bit too young to say this but still..)
I'm back to the same 'military grind' I went through in the 10th Std....repeated tests, late night studying cribbing about all that I wasn't getting to do blah blah blah!!
I don't know why..but I somehow feel that this time round I'm better prepared-mentally and emotionally- to go through this year. It might seem as if I'm making board exams sound like a huge deal etc. I've already heard all that jazz about boards being important for college admissions etc. Yes, I agree..but for me 10th std also signified something else. I was mentally prepared to go through the over hyped board prep rigours. But emotionally?? No..I wasn't prepared in the least to go through the gamut of emotions..all stemming out of one bitter truth- I was leaving school :( :( :'(
It was my LAST year at school..the last time I would be 'witnessing' the euphoria and the excitement of the reopening day. Not really remembering my firsts is school ( except for my first best friend and ahem..my first crush ;) :P ) I suddenly realised I was well on my way to be ticking off my 'lasts' in the school..the last performance with the original school band,the last teachers day,annual day,Christmas,last Eng lec etc etc. It was literally a mix of emotions..overwhelming to say the least. Moreover, like everyone I had a fantastic 'social life' (read: friends circle :P ) in school. I'm proud to say I was perhaps one of the few in my class who actually had close friends even in my juniors :) That made it all the more difficult. I would undoubtedly miss my batch mates..I knew that. But at the same time all of us were bidding goodbye to school together weren't we??? I wouldn't get to meet all my chotu friends regularly :( I literally cried buckets through 10th and my mom and my close friends were my sounding board throughout ( Ah!! love you guys :) ) At times I was very vulnerable whereas at times I tried to show off my strong side by immersing myself in studies and other activities..literally wearing the 'devil-may-care attitude on my sleeves :P. I possibly cant even blog about it all....all I knew was that I was going insane at the thought of having to leave behind my friends of 10yrs,my teachers who had seen me grow and whom I had grown to love and most importantly my school, my home, my life. I knew even then that it would be quite some time till I actually got over school..till then I would keep on finding excuses to visit school (the fact that it's just a 5 min drive from my place makes it even better!) Until 10th my school was my world and college seemed to be in a big bad world where you can't really trust anyone.It wasn't as if I wasn't excited to start a new phase of my life...but I wasn't all gung ho about it either! I was apprehensive,scared and nervous...In short I was dreading leaving school.
How wrong I was about it all!!! The senti part was all right...everyone does go through it.But the part about the 'big bad world' and 'dreading college'...sheesh!!!! At hindsight it seems SO stupid!!! Podar is THE BEST things that has ever happened to me!!! I wonder what my life would have been had I not gone to Podar and taken up science as I was originally planning to. Eeeks!!! I would've missed out on a helluva lot of things...after all 'I was born for greater things!! '
I've learnt so much, gotten my best friends, taken HUGE efforts to make some people feel special,cried miserably for someone whom I knew just for half a year but had become VERY close to and loved her ( she's the bestest senior, sister and friend mind you!! love you Y:) ), met and interacted with all kinds of people and yea...had some mini crushes and 'awwww moments' as well :) Well only one year into Podar and I cant even stop gushing about it :) (wonder what I'm gonna do in TY : )
Well getting back to the 12th boards...Why am I mentally and emotionally prepared?? Simply coz I know I'll still have 3 more years in Podar after 12th. Friends will be in different divisions but heck! who attends lecs ;) we can always meet up! Infact I'm almost feeling as if I'm back to FYJC now considering this year we are hanging out together more than we did in 11th, going out for food, doing random lukkhagiri on the katta and all the other things which we are 'expected' to do in FYJC(sadly this ain't gonna last long)....all thanks to the 'compulsory attendance' imposed. Atleast we get an excuse to be together and not rush off to study at home! I know this is all gonna be short term. Soon everyone's gonna get 'properly' busy with studies. I'm gonna begin 'multitasking' soon enough coz that's the only way to handle classes, tests, college, travelling and 'partying' :P
Lets see how this year goes...I hope I work hard enough.I want to stick it through and not lose hope in the middle of it all. True at times I feel too lazy to study and get all frustrated of the humdrum routine and sheer monotony of it all but that's when I think of some things told to me by Y and boom!! I get over the 'feeling low phase' in a jiffy and the fire to live up to the expectations( read: dhamkis of Y and quiet confidence of my folks :P ) of people who matter reignites :) I don't want to let em down coz they mean the world to me....
Well that reminds me....why the hell am I blogging!!! Shouldn't I go study ;) :P