Shwe & Sid.

If there's one thing I have always marveled at, it is this weird lil thing called friendship. I've never completely understood the dynamics of this beauty nor have I figured out how exactly it works or functions. But if I've learnt something, it is the fact that it works best when you just surrender yourself and let yourself flow with it and it shall go where it has to. Those are the friendships with rock steady foundations.

Just a few hours ago my baby bro, Andu, tagged me in this post which said -

 "Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you've met & you're like, "Yup, I like this one." and you just do stuff with them."

That struck a chord somewhere. Most of my friendships are such that I can't really comprehend, how, why or when exactly did I become close to that person. Well, therein lies the beauty of it all.

Shwe fell in that category. I'd known who THE SDJ was since FY, simply cause she was this hugely popular chick in college (the Amma of college and rightfully so). Thanks to a lot of things, I was under the misconception that she would be like the other 'faux-popular' chicks - arrogant, wont talk properly and the works. Except for this one-off time when Y introduced me to her, we never spoke.

Then came Moneta 2011, where I ended up co-ordinating with her for a few things, but that was that, it stopped there. I did not even expect it to go somewhere. After Moneta, we were in the throes of wrapping up the remnants of the fest and Bang! I suddenly get a call from Shwe and we begin talking. Random stuff at first & then she asks me if she can confide in me. And yeah yeah yeah! We were on a roll baby :D

We picked it up from there & have never stopped since!! There've been severrrral late night conversations (those are my fav kind), some of which went on all night. And day by day, we knew the other a lil more. We realised what we hated, what we loved. What we wanted & what we deserved.

Conversations led to meetings and meetings led to overnights! Somehow, we've always run to the sea side more often than not. She introduced me to DC, where we just sat quietly, looking at the Bandra Worli Sealink, looking at the sun sink into this endless mass of water, listening to the waves crashing against the rocks and just having a quiet conversation. I've often sat next to her while she drove, and for some reason, the songs we listened to during those drives, have now become some precious, defining moments.

She shouts at me when I leave without eating & knows every trick I would employ to avoid drinking milk. She complains to Mumma that I bathe in cold water & then laughs it off saying I'm a boy. She knows exactly the way my mind functions & reads my mind without having said anything. She grills me crazy when I suggest taking my bike out for a long distance ride but still wants to go for a short ride in the rain with me. She knows from the way I type a message what mood I am in & knows exactly how to cheer me up when no one can. She pushes me to do things on my own & lets me take a fall or two but she rushes to be my side when she knows it's her I need to hold my hand. She's the one who can truly knock sense into my head when I'm being foolish & she's the one who's stood up for me against so many people. She will go to any lengths to embarass me but would hate someone if they did not treat me right. She'll be the first person to point out my negatives (albeit, in a constructive manner) but she'll also be the first person to run up to me and gush over a job well done. She has thrown me out of her house cause she wanted to bake these super cute and yum cup cakes & goes out of her way to do stuff for me, just to make me feel special. Sure as hell, she does a brilliant job of that and it's no wonder she's this friend magnet.

She knows me in and out and better than most and that is exactly the way I would want it.

I know what toppings she dislikes on her Subway sandwich & I know where she's ticklish. I know she's crazy about Iced Tea (Lipton more so) and I know the places she's extremely sentimental about. I know how brilliant a dancer + painter + photographer + poet she can be & that's why I wonder why is she even pursuing CA :P
She's told me about her dreams, she's told me about her thoughts, and I couldn't be happier about it.

I had some pretty rough phases in my final year at college & it would've been a complete disaster had she not been the one who stood by me, believed in me, tolerated me, kept her patience & nudged me to bring me back on track. When I was down & out, it was she who met me evening after evening, guiding me, listening to me and if nothing, just giving me a tight hug, looking at me with those eyes and just being there for me. If there was someone I began looking up to during that time, it was her, hands down. Till then I respected her, loved her and even adored her. But now, I also looked upto her, trusted her and gave her the right to affect me in a way very few people can.

She took things from bad to normal by being there & helping me out. How did she make it awesome? By putting up with me for more than a month :D The days I've stayed at her place are probably the longest I've ever stayed anywhere (apart from my home ofcourse) and those days were puuuure bliss!! Waking up to her, quietly tiptoing out of the house early morning, being soooo close to college, being able to stay late in college and the best of it all, coming home to her, telling her all about the day & just spending some brilliant moments with her! I know how willing I would be to do anything to have a go at it again :D

I've bunked for an impromptu CCD tour with her, treasured that paper where she randomly came and wrote an I Love You in different languages, driven by Marine late at night listening to Pani Da, driven by Worli screaming out songs, gone for a cricket match where we screamed ourselves hoarse and randomly gone to PNG with Tang with her. I've had innumerable amazing days with her, but these little moments mean so much more! She wakes me up at 5:30 a.m on the only day I get to sleep late & laughs out loud cause she managed to annoyed me & then chokes up and narrates this touching, overwhelming poem she wrote for me which makes it a 'couldn't-have-been-better' start to my day. Yes, that's the (wannabe) devil in her.

I dunno what led Shwe to believe that she could take that leap of faith me, but whatever it was, I couldn't have been more thankful for it. Today, the person who I thought I would never even be friendly with, is my Best Friend! And boy! Am I happy! And you know someone is going to be a constant fixture in your life when she says that she's gonna dress you up as a bride on your wedding day. I might not meet or talk to her everyday, but she's someone I think of everyday. The things that I feel her are, in one word, inexplicable. There's so much that I feel, so much that I would want to say, but in a first, words shall fail me. She's everything any person would want in a friend. She puts up with my LMS and I shall need her approval when I do get a BF. In that case, there's absolutely no frigging way I can possibly afford to give up on her :D

She's loving, she's caring, she's protective. She's my best friend, sister, anchor, guide, confidante. All rolled into one. Do you still think you can get someone better than this? Impossible it is :D

This is my dedication to you Shwe, I love you more than I could ever say :)

Mood : Grateful, happy, mushy
Humming : There's Nothing Like You & I by Perishers

It's time.

It's time I learnt to sell myself better. 

It's time I stopped expecting that letting my work speak for itself will be enough. Sometimes I will need to speak up to let the 'voice' of my work be heard.

It's time I start fighting for what is rightfully mine.

It's time I stop letting others take credit for something I did.

It's time I stopped expecting the same kind of commitment, passion & dedication that I expect from myself.

It's time I stop letting everyone dump their work on me.

It's time I stop being naive and have a rosy image about a lot of things, more so, life in general.

Everyone says, It's time.. to grow up. Or is it? Can't I just continue to be the kid at heart in the body of an adult? Or is it just too much to ask for? Gah.

Mood      : Frustrating glimpse into what the future could possibly hold.

Humming : Stop this Train by John Mayer.

Foooooooooood!!

1 Cream Cheese Bagel
1 Mushroom Delight Bagel
1 Nachos
1 Cajun Chicken Burger
1 BBQ Chicken Burger
1 Brownie

Total = Rs. 403
Unbelieveable?

CA students are thrown to weird ass places for audits and Po &
I were no exceptions. The clients place being located at Sakinaka means we travel to an entirely different continent (or so it seems) on a daily basis. What keeps us going? The fact that there are amazing restaurants to sample in our 4 month fling with this 'Only traffic-No traffic signals' place. That has been a mouthwatering as well as an ' I'm-gonna-have-to-beg-for-money-soon' prospect thanks to the expensive options available.

Being a lover of offbeat places,I've always loved finding out those places very few people know about but which serve the most amazing food. Apart from the food, what becomes a source of delight is taking friends to those places & seeing their faces light up with delight at discovering a new food haven :D

Anyway, back to the topic. So while researching for the options available (Yes, I indeed conducted a thorough detailed research, complete with maps, prices, reviews etc), I came across Samvene. The reviews were fab & the place looked good in the pictures. The website promised to be an English styled cafe/restaurant & offered Bagels,Burgers,Booze & more.

Charged up by the positive reviews, we walked to Samvene and were smiling ear-to-ear from the word GO! We gave a battery of orders & hogged (yes, that would be the word) like pigs!!

Started off with Nachos, crisp,warm, tangy with the perfect dip. Moved on to a Cajun Chicken Burger &  BBQ Chicken burger - The bread was soft, patties were non-oily, sauces were juuust perfect.What's more?It actually had a good amount of filling unlike the burgers nowadays at McD. At Rs. 80 a piece and with such quality, these burgers are gonna steal a good number of McD patrons! I'm a victim (happily so) already.

Then came the Bagels - Cream Cheese Bagel & Mushroom Delight. The bread in both was amazingly dense (and hence quite filling) and the cream cheese spread in the bagel took me to a parallel universe and I emitted a loud moan (much to my embarrassment) cause by then, I was oblivious to my surroundings. The latter dish though was annoyingly yucky and I was glad I had saved a few bites of my Cajun Chicken burger so that I could have a good lingering taste.

After the sumptuous meal, it went without saying that meetha toh banta hai!Chocolate Brownie was our pick!!It wasnt the standard brownie that I've normally eaten. It was different & in Po's words, it was 'Good-different'. A thin, crispy, flaky crust & soft & moist inside. I loved it so much that I picked a few for my Folks & grand dad!

Haaaaaaaaa! That was all that I could exclaim.

Post meal status = 2 students turned into pro bono publicists/advertisers for Samvene.

We came, we ate, we passed out.

In all the excitement of the good spread laid out, this was the only thing I remembered to take a picture of!

“It was love at first sight”


“I dunno how, but the next thing I knew, that person became a priority and someone I was deeply in love with.”


“I’ve known him/her for years & I don’t really know how or when we exactly we became so close, but it just happened over time without 
me realising when”

In life, we form relationships, of different kinds with different people. Some stay, some go. But the one constant is, we feel that crazy thing called love. And undoubtedly, some relationships leave an indelible mark on us.

Over the years (I know it sounds like an old wise woman dishing out gyaan, but no, I’m just 20) one thing I’ve experienced is, when it specifically comes to a relationship with a friend or a partner, one can often be indecisive, even fickle, about the status one gives someone, or the amount of importance one gives someone.  How much time is the right amount of time to pronounce that you’re close to someone? After all, some become close to people in a short span of time, while others take their own time to do so cause that’s how they function & sometimes some people just have that wall around them, which can be breached or broken only by a select few.

So far, with the kind of experiences I’ve had, answering this question has probably become easier, but hasn’t exactly resolved it.

There’s been Giree, whom I’ve known for 14 years now & is my best friend from school. I have absolutely no idea how or when we became close. And till date, I’ve no answer as to how we are still so close or comfortable with each other. We’re far from mushy with each other and are more like bros but we have had our moments when we knew just how important we are for each other. I’m at my wacky best with her & even though we don’t get to meet for months at a stretch, I never really feel the distance :D

I have M,AA & Gandhu. Again, known em since I joined college & have been with me through thick & thin. They know all about the crazy stuff I think about & have borne the brunt of my excessive talkative behaviour & tendency to be extremely arbit & mushy in seconds.

With Smalu, it was I who became close to her faster & she who took a long time to get there. With time came the long conversations, the comfort, the secrets and that feeling of being family to each other. And because of that time, when we were finally on the same plane, we had in our hands the most beautiful relationship I’ve ever had with someone. A relationship where both of us accepted each other with our shortcomings & loved each other for the awesome things we brought to the relationship. No matter how things materialise, she is & shall continue to be supremely important for me. And like I’ve said before, I can write pages and pages on her!

Prak isn’t my school/college/building/class friend. I met her through Smalu, when I was preparing for Smalu’s birthday surprise. Before we knew it, we started having these hilarious stupid conversations & that led to a beautiful mad relationship where everything is understood by those looks, the most arbit things are shared without any shyness & where the part of explaining people as to how exactly we became friends is loved.

Then there’s my class group - Uru, Rich, Swap, Shavo, N3, Gau, Ghoda & Namo. Class, office, college all at once can be slightly overwhelming & this is when they come to the rescue! Apart from the fact that we have the most amazing Profs who are a delight to listen to, the fact that our group sits together keeps the class routine from becoming a monotonous task! Lectures have varied from being hilarious to inspiring to just egging each other to be focussed. And the post-class talks are MAD. When the mood is gloomy, this is just the thing that makes me snap out of it & enjoy the moment! We have a surprise planned for everyone’s b'day & the parties involve us cooking for the gang. Could I have asked for more? Hell no!

   Is this it? Nooo! As I write this, I realise just how blessed I am to have so many amazing people in my life! There are so many more people that I want to mention! Shwe & Yash who’ve been my guardian angels in college & have always had my back & become the elder sisters I’ve never had.  Mau, who’s been instrumental into egging me towards living in the moment & who’s fast becoming my go-to person. And on and on and on.

Now, haven’t I had experiences where the relationship took a turn for the worse? Yes of course, but those relationships too gave me some amazing moments, so I’m learning to skip dwelling on the bad parts but cherish them for the times they gave me happiness.

One thing that has been a constant in all the beautiful relationships I’ve had? I haven’t directly jumped headlong into something & felt blind emotions right away. I’ve let the relationship take its own course (sometimes I’ve been able to do that cause the other person took time :P ). Probably that’s why they turned out so well? A common trend has been, I haven’t really understood when I became close. Like they say, love, just happens. You can’t figure out the when, how or why part of it. And that, I believe is what makes it even more beautiful.

Is there a wrong or right amount of time? I doubt it. Instead I’d say, go with the flow and enjoy every moment and phase of the relationship. And like a very important person once told me, “Live in the now ”.

Go out, love someone, get loved , feel the love & fall in love with the finer nuances of this beautiful emotion called love. J

Mood : Thankful & feeling loved

Humming : Truly, Madly, Deeply & Just Remember I Love You

The Pursuit of Happiness

"Are you sad?"

S2 asked me this question during one of our numerous late night conversations. Have I never thought of the answer to this question? Ofcourse I have, numerous times in the past. Just that late night conversations have this thing about making you think more than what you normally would have.

In life, not everything goes your way. You plan & plot, dream & desire but not everything will happen as per your will. That’s a given. So for every individual, there are things they wish never happened or things they wish they never did, said or feel. I have had my share of such events too. They’ve made me sad, they’ve made me cry & they’ve made me question a lot of things. They’ve given me what one could call ‘a terrible patch’ in life. For me, two events standout and tower over everything else.

One event, I had no control over. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t have done anything. Even if I want to, I can’t blame anyone, for there’s no one to blame. It’s a loss I feel deeply, even though it’s almost a year. It shook me, made me go numb and made me emit a silent cry. I had never felt something like this and I do imagine what it would have been like had it never happened, and that, makes me smile. Cause it makes me think of the times that could have been, the joy that I could have brought, the moments that I could have shared. I know that will never be the case, so all I can do is lament the loss.

The other event, was my fault. I was the one who screwed up something beautiful. It was built up pressure that chose to find its outlet by way of this event. It’s been a while now and I still feel the void and I still have not figured out if I’m ever going to be able to fill that void. If nothing, it is teaching me the power of hope and patience because I like to believe that it’s never too late.

Do these incidences mean I’m perennially sad? No. Life teaches you this amazing quality of moving on. Not moving on in the truest sense, but learning to be happy in spite of all those setbacks. No doubt, we continue to lament & we continue to give those “What Ifs” a lot of importance. Cause it’s those “What Ifs” that make us dream of the possibilities that those events held had they not turned out that way.

Do those events only bring me sadness and make me morose? Hell no! Before these things happened, I have felt SO much happiness, joy, delight that I’ve felt blessed! They were a source of so many good memories, so many things that moulded me into the person I am and the individual that I will be. I feel blessed! That is why, every morning, before I leave my building I have a quick one-on-one with God (for me, he’s my buddy whom I talk to whenever I want to & not just another stone idol) and thank Him for everything awesome in my life & sneak in a “Please help me with this & that” and off I go.

Some days have this quality of making you feel that even when things aren’t entirely going your way, they will eventually work out & just nothing will go wrong that day. No wonder, some days when you feel the pleasant sun rays and not find them harsh, when you notice the dew drops & murmur with delight about that pleasant nip in the air, you are perky cause there’s this something about a day that makes you feel that everything is gonna be okay and that the day will be perfect. And that is when you begin to hum that happy tune, have a big smile on your face for everyone you meet and a spring in your step wherever you go. And that, is how you learn to make being happy a habit and spread happiness.

Don't I sound like one preachy old woman now? :D

 

Mood : Introspective

Humming : When you're happy and you know it clap your hands :D

Real life Fairytale :)

Humans and ‘firsts’ have this special connection. Even the most random ‘first’ can make you insanely happy, even if it’s not really about you. Today was one of those days that made me re-realise just why I’m so crazy about surprises. Life throws surprises at random, good & bad & you rediscover emotions. Today was one of those days.

 I come home from class with a hilarious expression on my face (that was thanks to the insane conversation I had with Rich, Swap & Guru Ma just after class but that’s another story) and Mumma says,

“T Bhai got engaged!”

I literally went “ WHAAAAAAT???” and then followed it up with a barrage of questions, “When? To whom? Who told you?? ”

So its official, T Bhai & Niki Didi are engaged. They’re about to tie the knot. And I cant stop grinning with a goofy smile pasted on my face.

THEY.ARE.GETTING.MARRIED.

Whoa, that felt like a lot to process. After all, it’s not everyday that someone you’ve known almost all your life gets married to a person whom you’ve also known almost all your life! And when they decide to take the plunge it feels insanely wow-ish + weird to imagine them as husband & wife. If they would’ve been in front of me right now, I’d have probably stared at them with wide eyes. Along with all the happiness I’m also finding it funny! That’s what one would call a gamut of emotions in the truest sense. :P

Both of them, T Bhai & Niki Didi were my seniors at school. While I knew T Bhai right from the time I was little (He’s P’s elder brother & was pretty much one for me. P is the drummer boy), Niki Didi was someone I started interacting with more in the final years of school.

T Bhai is the same guy P & I used to run behind. When he asked P & me to find him a pen & I did it before P, P sulked & I was overjoyed cause hey! T bhai was happy!  When I was going to P’s place to play, Mumma had told P & me to play outside & not disturb T bhai cause he had his boards. T bhai played cricket with us instead. He taught me how to play with those tazos we got with packets of Lays. I remember him as the narrator in a play at our school annual day, I was enamoured by the way he spoke. I remember being in awe of him when he marched during his Investiture ceremony. I faintly remember riding pillion on his bike. I remember sneaking into his room to lay my hands on his guitar. I remember watching him, Tush Bhaiya & Am Bhaiya joke around with Charles Sir. I remember sitting around with Aunty, Uncle, Bhai & P, just talking to them. When we had our school reunion, I remember all of us juniors remarking on how he looked so dashing. And of course the small speech he gave for Principal Sirs farewell blew everyone away & brought nostalgic tears to their eyes.  He always treated me as his lil sister and I used to love it. And the same T bhai is getting married. Wooooo. :D

Niki Didi. I haven’t known her for as long or as closely as I knew T bhai but I grew closer to her when we worked for our school reunion, Blitz. I was only in 11^th then & I was the kid in the group, taken care of, even pampered. I remember watching her play matches for the Saffron House (our arch rivals) but that was about it. She was the one who told me how she remembered Mumma coming to drop me everyday & how I used to always run around with those two cute pigtails (those were her words). During Blitz we got talking & I became fond of her. For her too I became the kid sis. I bonded with her during our Water Kingdom trip & she was one senior who kept in touch as much as I did. Aaaa she’s getting married!!!!

Its funny how alllll these long forgotten memories are just coming rushing back. Connecting the memories and this outcome, they make me go awww. Yuss. Two of my seniors from school are getting married and I find that VERY cool! Its like my version of real life fairy tale :D

So now that it’s official, I wonder. I can’t call both of them Bhai & Didi respectively. What should I do? Call him Jiju or call her Bhabhi? ;)